THIS WEEK AT NOT BUNGIE - 1/13/2020

This week at Not Bungie, we have reverted our victims to eye remains.

Please join your foes from Lord Power Max. In the new year, you believe that we have achieved attention to mod banners. This is amazing. Everyone who stopped Destiny 2 for more time out in the world will be automatically embedded in knives. Figuring out the remaining triumphs for you is going to impact some sweet reward caps. Please post links to your bungie.net profile on Twitter. Dodge off the map and cause other shenanigans for your teammates.


This Season of Issues

Destiny: Dawn of Sands is almost over. The Eververse store now has everything you believe to be confirmed. Instead of bright dust, you have Pool Energies to spend on Destiny social weapons to add packages from Lord Rewards. Shoot immediately before just joining in progress. Thanks for all the mist.

Guardians meet in glorious swarming Vex notices, but those are some notable strike Mood Cats. You know what, have a special emblem for dismantling any solar subclass with the intention of going hardcore. That should help you make better choices around Shaxx in the tower. The subreddit will remain aware of our ongoing tradition of picking thousands of loud changes to keep dunking on. We know what you are.


You and Bans

We doubted that this will be obtained, so we weighted the chance of you getting a ban against airborne solar headshot montages. You can have a full day to earn your Honeydew Silver. After that, there will be an attempt on your voice. Momentum Warning in the crucible will be available in strikes until March 25th. Most of your lunar sales will receive familiar temperature mods.

Please start earning Le Monarque exotic quests or we will have to rebind your hands. This isn't what Dmg04 started working for. Let him build a new PC with your bread on the Moon. If you haven't finished the 4th painting by the new year, you have not yet acquired confusion.


Publish Strike Settings

At Bungie, we have deployed several Hive attacks on your face. Act fast or your armor will be removed from all veteran players. Season of our Sleeve notes will feature familiar foes in new respawns. As we raise money from completing matches that rely on your language barrier, this will further evolve the restriction on perks. Here to tell you about some upcoming maintenance deadlines is Senior Happy Fans, Cheat Williams.

Cheat: Yes. Gunslinger got blown away. We have a few tweaks coming to hunters that will appeal to the Vex on the Moon. Guardians must confront removed pictures that could amplify the Eververse content every season. Precision damage from Lord Supplies will reset when players close more options than desired. Here are the fists of ongoing confusion.

  • Increased base damage from Ada-1 to 3,790%. She can now throw grenades at your guardian.
  • Adjusted hammer throw animations to kill 1,630 guardians per second in PvP. Titans can now hammer for 300 days per super activation. Expect this to be locked in 22 hours.
  • Increased the low end of your guardian to the top of all players.
  • Adjusted titans who disabled earlier milestone iPads. These titans now undergo multiple names before settling on a final, funny, Thanksgiving Hive stream.
  • Decreased hunters from 4 to 2. Hunters now grant more bonus points per rabbit.
  • Warlocks now need 60 days to talk to Shaxx.
  • Increased Cozmo to Studio Gunsmith. He will receive more information on Google Stadia right now. It's been reduced.
  • Adjusted Shaxx from 500 to Proud Heavy Weapons Juggernaut. He is now sweet French hammer.
  • This is now the 9th design note.
  • Dmg04 is now part of this Horrible Candy Corn media.

Thanks, Cheat. I always gave you the undying yeet for Festival of the Objectives. Alongside the lost mods are new exotic rewards:

  • Fists of your continuous confusion: Titans have 20 seconds to melee a hunter before they consider which Tuesday to complete the raid challenge on.
  • Flames of Other Evidence: Warlocks gain 3x super energy for each class on Twitter or chocolate rifle on top of Shaxx.
  • Knives of Prohibitive Salvation: Hunters consuming Hive candies get spooky Monday books.

Movie of Exos in the Dungeon

People sent us videos while we continued to build holiday treats. We didn't ask for this. Go live on the forums with an old wildlife rescue badge.

First Dust: Headbutt the Moon

Honorable Grenade: Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Your Feedback…

Take the lost emblem and confront your own darkness. Thank this hotfix.


Today, we weighted that new title incorrectly and gave it to everyone. The first TWANB of the year and more people than desired are talking about earning your account. Don't pay for pinnacle rewards. This will be donated to wires who accept other tweets. However, I work digitally in bungie.net, and ban more than a million players every day. Try out your appealing link until the hotfix resolves this.

Stay you.

<3 Not Cozmo.


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We're Not Bungie

We're really not.

This is a collection of ever-so-slightly incorrect and nonsensical weekly updates, equipment descriptions, and general lore from the universe of Destiny. Imagine Cayde spilled some spicy ramen on Rasputin's terminal, and now you're sorting through the salvaged files.

The text itself comes from the hard work and creativity of Content Chris, leveraging the Botnik predictive writer. The site is the inevitable result of Code Chris having too much free time and a love of web design and development.

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